One foot in front of the other, we walk through life. A journey without a beginning or end - at least, that's how I see it.
If it is as simple as this, why do we reach points in our lively experience in which we are cursed with an unsettled feeling that 'we aren't doing what is right'. After all, what is right and what is wrong in our own experiences? It seems like we base what is right and wrong on others.
The aggressive agitating feeling of not knowing what to do with my life generally comes after the winter season. The season of rest and internal questioning that leads to a spring of growth and rejuvenation in the morals and guides that pave the path to my life. A mouthful of precarious verbiage pointing to 'the calm before the storm'; the storm being my growth into the person I believe I should be.
The person I 'believe' I should be.
Sprouting Moss, Late 2018
He could be one of the fictional groups of characters that haunt my future.
The one that travels with his camera. Traveling by foot, by bike, by car to see the world in light that changes with each step. He learns to understand the nature of things so that he may help others understand in the same way. He leads and guides while serving those in need. He accumulates stories and lessons to teach the world. He could go anywhere his mind draws him. A life of freedom. A life full of culture. A life where he may be unheard.
The one that sits at home and watches movies and reads in his pajamas while dreary clouds drift by his window outside. The bread baking in his oven, filling his small cabin with the fine doughy aroma of comfort. Nothing to do, nowhere to go, just another book to read, another movie to watch, another cloud to roll by. Then another day at work to provide for this life. A life within himself. A life within simple means. A life secluded.
The one that wakes to the rising sun to do a simple yoga flow before a large bowl of cereal and a bike ride to work. He works a prestigious job, making good money with great stability and room for growth. He has the opportunity to be a partner and buy a home. He fits in with the world. He fits in with previous generations. A life of money and stability. A life aligned with someone else's goals.
Or this person could be me. I am already here. Not going ahead of where I am. Not falling behind where I should be. Using my moral compass to guide me to lands unknown. Places that are sustainable for a life time.
Peace of Grass, May 2018
A place without predetermination.
A place without false promises.
A place that radiates positivity.
A place that meets my needs and not the needs of others.
A place that is mine and not from someone else.
A place for me.
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