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  • Writer's pictureSteffen H.

Your Past Self

Look at yourself

Stare into the mirror

A stinging glare

Fueled by your burdens

or rather

A fleeting gaze

Knowingly impermanent

Indistinctly palatable; short lived

It depends how you feel that day.

The strength it takes to see the past with authenticity is truly insurmountable. I am unsure that anyone holds such a power; and if they do, do they suffer? Suffer from stories of apparent wrong doing? Suffer from reminders of joy in the arms of friends and family? Memories of which can no longer be revived?

After all, your past is not tangible like the present moment. The mind administers that which you pursue.

A day of pain and self loathing will retort a devil insisting your life is barren. Yet a glimpse of hope stored in your mind may counter such feelings and manufacture dreams of silliness and broken chains signifying the end of your entrapment and dismay. The mind is a powerful fragment of ourselves...a piece of the "I" in which we all experience.

Charlie sipping a drink; taking in the views. The same earth we are all built from (Summer 2021).

My past self continues to change. I look at the reel of film, which signifies the beginning of my time in Durango, with hope and excitement of the future. It also shows life imprinted in shadows of darkening memories. Will I feel these unencumbered feelings again or must anxiety continue to tax my life? Will this year be different?

Something left behind (Chaco Canyon, 2021)

An alien world where there are no bounds to live by. A world found right here at home. (Bisti 2021, Sam in the corner for scale)

Of course. Things always change; unpredictably and unprecedented. All Change is worth-while!

Here I am, still overburdened with anxiety and stimulated by fear, but the path is becoming coherent. Soon I may move through life with my friends, unhindered again. If not...that is the way. May I take the walk with strength, seeing life with light or absent of it. The only way it can be perceived.

Come Walk with me :)

May we be present with our emotions and the connection to those around us.

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